15 Money Conversations and Questions You Should Have with Your Spouse Before Starting a Relationship

Money is one of the top reasons couples fight—and in some cases, break up! While love might make the world go round, financial disagreements can bring relationships to a grinding halt.

Having open and honest money conversations before diving into a serious commitment can help set the foundation for a strong, transparent partnership. Whether you're dating, engaged, or moving in together, these money questions and discussions will help you and your partner align financially and avoid unnecessary conflict.

1. What Are Your Financial Goals?

Before you build a future together, it's essential to understand each other's financial aspirations. Does your partner want to retire early? Own a home in the next five years? Start a business? Knowing each other's financial dreams will help you set shared goals and create a roadmap to achieve them.

2. How Do You Feel About Budgeting?

Budgeting is one of the best ways to ensure financial stability, but not everyone sees it the same way. Discuss your attitudes toward budgeting—whether you prefer a strict, detailed plan or a more flexible approach—and decide on a method that works for both of you.

3. What Are Your Spending Habits?

Understanding how your partner spends money can prevent future frustrations. Are they a saver, a spender, or somewhere in between? Do they splurge on expensive dinners or prefer to keep things frugal? Be honest about your spending patterns and discuss how to balance different money habits.

4. How Much Debt Do You Have?

Debt can significantly impact a relationship. Be transparent about student loans, credit card debt, car loans, or any other financial obligations. Discuss how you plan to manage or pay off debt together and how it may affect joint financial decisions.

5. What Are Your Views on Credit?

Credit scores can impact major financial milestones like buying a home or applying for a loan. Do you both maintain good credit? If one person has a lower score, how will you handle financial decisions together? Understanding each other's credit history can help prevent surprises in the future.

6. How Do You Feel About Merging Finances?

Some couples combine their finances entirely, while others keep them separate or opt for a hybrid approach. Discuss what makes the most sense for your relationship and whether you'll open joint accounts, maintain individual accounts, or find a middle ground.

7. Who Will Pay for What?

From rent and utilities to groceries and vacations, financial responsibilities need to be divided fairly. Will you split expenses 50/50, or will the higher earner contribute more? Establishing clear expectations will prevent future misunderstandings.

8. How Do You Handle Financial Emergencies?

Life happens—unexpected job losses, medical bills, or car repairs can disrupt financial plans. Do you have an emergency fund? If not, how will you build one together? Discussing emergency planning will help you prepare for the unexpected.

9. Do You Believe in Lending Money to Family or Friends?

Money-related requests from family and friends can be a sensitive topic. If one partner is comfortable lending money but the other is not, conflicts may arise. Establishing clear boundaries around financial support for others will help you stay on the same page.

10. How Do You Approach Investing?

Investing can be a key wealth-building strategy, but everyone has different risk tolerances. Do you prefer conservative, low-risk investments, or are you open to higher-risk opportunities? Aligning on investment strategies will help ensure financial growth and stability.

11. Do You Have Any Financial Red Flags?

Transparency is critical in a financial partnership. If you've had past financial struggles—such as bankruptcy, foreclosure, or tax issues—be upfront about them. Understanding each other's financial history can help build trust and allow you to work through challenges together.

12. What Are Your Career and Income Expectations?

Career paths influence financial stability. Does your partner expect to stay in their current job indefinitely, or do they plan on frequent job changes? Do they aspire to start a business? Discussing career goals ensures you’re aligned on financial expectations for the future.

13. How Will You Handle Financial Disagreements?

No matter how well you plan, disagreements will happen. Establish a healthy way to communicate about money and resolve conflicts. Will you have monthly money check-ins? Seek financial counselling if needed? Having a game plan for financial disagreements can prevent stress in the future.

14. What Are Your Views on Retirement?

Retirement may seem far away, but it’s important to discuss your expectations early. Do you plan to retire at 60, or do you envision working indefinitely? Will you save aggressively now, or contribute minimally over time? Having a shared retirement vision ensures you’re working toward the same future.

15. What Are Your Estate Planning and Insurance Plans?

No one likes thinking about worst-case scenarios, but discussing life insurance, wills, and estate planning is essential. Do you have life insurance? Have you made arrangements for dependents in case something happens? Ensuring that both partners are financially protected will bring peace of mind.

Final Thoughts

Money conversations can be awkward, but they’re crucial for a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Being open and honest about finances from the start helps establish trust, prevent conflicts, and create a solid financial future together.

If you haven’t had these discussions yet, schedule a time to sit down with your partner and go through them one by one. The more proactive you are, the stronger your financial foundation will be—allowing you to focus on what truly matters: building a happy and fulfilling life together.